I hate washing dishes so much that I would rather sip piping hot soup from my cupped hands than load a dishwasher. And yet, it is occasionally my turn to do the dishes, making me a battle-worn interlocutor from the desolate field of spaghetti-night dishwashing blowouts. Below, I offer three humble strategies for navigating the “who’s loading the dishwasher the right way” argument, so you can restore peace and harmony to your home.
The first move to make in any dishwasher argument is to present the cold hard facts, as this alone might end the stalemate. To this end, we spoke to a dishwasher expert at Samsung about how to put stuff in the dishwasher The Actual Right Way:
The basics
- Big boys (pots and pans) on the bottom rack. Li’l Guys (glasses, cups, saucers, mugs, and dishwasher-safe plastic) on the upper rack.
- Your dishwasher probably has features like foldable, adjustable, or removable parts. Use those instead of just jamming oversized pot lids in there and hoping no one saw you do it.
- A list of things that don’t go in the dishwasher: bones (who does this?), seeds (again, who does this?), toothpicks, etc. Little sharp things can cause big problems, apparently.
Advanced
- You want to consider how best to position your vessels so that they can get the most of their dirty bits anointed by hot soap. Face the dirtiest side of each dish toward the center of the dishwasher. Anything that’s open, like a pot or a cup, goes face down so water can spray up into its nooks.
- Spin the spray nozzles by hand after loading is complete. If anything is blocking their spin, adjust.
- Anything more precise than that is officially pish-posh. But, if your co-arguer won’t relent and it becomes an intractable standoff, you might need to redirect:
Try hitting ’em with a variation on this line. “Did you know that you can cook a steak in the dishwasher?”
This will throw them off balance and demonstrate your deep esoteric dishwasher knowledge. If they call your bluff, no worries! It is apparently an actual thing according to Chris at COOK WITH MEAT, which I discovered by watching him sous vide a juicy steak in the dishwasher.
If taking the absurdist tack doesn’t do the trick, it might be time to lay down your weapons and zoom out. Luckily, I talked to Peter Miller, the internet-hailed Marie Kondo of dishwashing and author of How to Wash the Dishes about the larger place of dishwashing in the home.
His philosophy? The meal is not completed at the stove but at the sink. He told me that we need to reframe dishwashing as the elegant finish to a meal, as the time to digest literally and figuratively. It is the optimal moment for conversation, contemplation, and coming together.
If after-dinner conversation in your house has devolved into terse dishwasher-based recriminations, the cold hard facts didn’t convince anyone, no one was interested in turning the dishwasher into a sous vide, and you’re tired of trying to win the argument, it might be time to call a truce.
In this case, maybe you follow Miller’s lead. Take hold of your housepartner’s hand, guide them to the sink, forget the dishwasher altogether, and wash dishes side by side as you dissolve the argument in the warm sudsy water.
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June 12, 2020 at 11:55PM
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The Best Advice on How to Load a Dishwasher - Architectural Digest
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